I started reading Radical Ecstasy a few days ago. I’m not very far into it, and it’s not light reading since it demands engagement. I’ve read pretty much everything Easton/Hardy have written and have several early print versions on my shelf. This has become a bit longer post than I expected, and it’s naval-gazey, so I’ll put it behind a jump.
Radical Ecstasy is quite a bit different than most BDSM reference books. It’s a bit more like Different Loving, in that it talks more to the meta-experience of non-vanilla sensuality, rather than technique and associated concerns. By meta-experience, I mean the things that happen to your mind, the opening of the consciousness that happens that becomes nearly ineffable without resorting to spiritual/chemical terms. Mind altering, mind expanding, trance-like — ecstasy, really. I’ve encountered it in scenes and in meditation, when dancing or performing when the music unites and lifts the whole.
I don’t think any of this is so alien a concept. I think we’ve all touched this or been touched by it, and there has been research on it from a solidly secular perspective. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi refers to it as flow or engagement in the moment. Reversal theory addresses this as the paratelic state of playfulness, where you’re deeply in the moment (some of the cautions around this state definitely apply to kink scenes).
I’ve been thinking about this aspect of kink sex for decades, since the first time I experienced it and tried to talk about it. It seemed that the kink folks got it right off. But the vanilla folk didn’t, or wouldn’t admit to it, or something. I’ve stopped trying to discuss it, honestly, and I’m moving into trying to write it: the experience of it, the fall-out from it, the hunger for it. The acts are interesting and fun to write/read, but meta-experience is what draws me.
One of the challenges I have is I feel obligated to make this relatable to the audience. Here’s where my background as a technical writer comes in: I feel obligated to invoke my audience’s schema and expand it. So, you know what a dog is, but I want you to see my dog: 14 lbs, 12 inches high, 12 inches long, white fur with brown spots, limping right now because she sprained her front right paw. You get the idea. You know what sensuality is, but I want you to experience this sensuality — and so I have to walk you into it. It takes time, because where I want to take you transcends time.
I have no idea if I’ll be successful, but I think this is fertile ground.